dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
