***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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