remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
