you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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