haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
