I heard we made out
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
