We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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