She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
he just fucked me for my cheese.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
