I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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