everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
When did angry sex become our thing?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
