i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think people are normalizing furries
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
