Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize