Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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