My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
