just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
