I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
