it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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