Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
