if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
