I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
