Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
