He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
