can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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