My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
As shirtless as possible
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
