I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize