Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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