i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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