Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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