dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
