At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
