with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
