Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
