Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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