And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
