I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
