I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
