i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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