You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
