I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dicks are not precious.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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