He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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