Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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