Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
