What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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