I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
