Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
