Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
