Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
