woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
