Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
