Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
