I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
