so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
