VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
