You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Randomize
