it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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