You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
