Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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