I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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