yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
