R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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