Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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