is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
