Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I love having hate sex.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
