I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
