I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my being single is dangerous.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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